Harry Potter and the Mix of Stories
by marixoxella
Summary: Chapter 5 UP! Hello, one and all! Thanks for coming to read my fic! Harry wakes up on a nice Saturday moring, but wait- something's wrong! All story characters are being mixed up? Will Harry, with the help of his trusty sidekick, Artemis, save them?
1. Introduction to the Fic!

**Okay, this is one of my first ****humour**** fics, so be nice! ... Please! Enjoy Harry Potter and the Mix of Stories!**

**Ella**

The author walked on stage.

"Hi everybody!" Ella waved, "This is my fic and it's really cool and really fun and really—"

"Get on with the show, lady!" Someone called and threw popcorn at her.

"That's not nice," Ella pouted, "Anyway, on with the fic, here's a heads up: PeanutButterII, lion21princess, and I will Starr along with all the other random stars we all know!"

"YEY," everyone applauded on cue.

"Okay, so, let's meet some of them now!" Ella looked across the stage, "lion21princess!"

A dark-skinned, black haired, skinny girl walked in and smiled, "Hello!"

"Okay!" Ella shoved her to the side, not caring where she landed, "PeanutButterII!"

A blond, blue-eyed, and insane female jumped in and cheered for no reason.

Ella pushed her away too, "of course, ME!"

Everyone booed, "Gosh, you don't have to be rude about it!"

She huffed and then her mood changed to happiness again.

"Okay, on with the show," she grinned again, "Presenting… Harry Potter and the Mix of Stories!"

**This is the Prologue, or what you call… an introduction to the fic!**

**Ella**


	2. The Evilmixofstories Device!

**Chapter 1 of my fic is officially up now! Please R & R! Even if it's anonymous, please •pouts• I'll be your best friend, naw, I'm just messing with ya!**

**Ella**

Harry yawned and looked around, "Good morning!"

Suddenly he froze, even though he WAS in his dorm and NOTHING had changed… there was black hair peaking out of Ron's covers.

"RON!" Harry gasped, "I could you keep this from me?! You dyed your hair?!"

"Ron" groaned and yawned also, but there was something wrong…

"RON!" Harry gasped again, "You're not Ron!"

"And you're not Butler," the piecing blue-eyed, jet black haired boy exclaimed, "Who are you anyway?"

"I'm Harry… what's your name?" Harry looked at the boy.

"Fowl, Artemis Fowl," Artemis's gazed turned frightening.

Harry ignored it, "Are you a secret agent or something, do you work for MI5 or the CIA or—"

"I'm Artemis John Lucifer Fowl the second junior," Artemis answered in a snooty voice.

"Nice to meet you," Harry blanked and looked around, "Where's Ron…"

**Somewhere in another story in another fic…**

"Artemis is mine!" Juliet exclaimed tugging on Ron's arm.

"No, Arty's MINE, over half of thinks so!" Holly yelled back.

"So?" Juliet paused and thought a moment, "The few, the proud, the A/J Shippers (A/N: YEY!)!"

"Can't argue with that," Holly let go of Ron and shrugged, "Hey, you're not Artemis!"

"And you're not my fictional, dysfunctional dream girl!" Ron exclaimed, "Where am I?!"

**Back in the story…**

Harry shrugged, "He's probably fine anyway…"

"Okay, so, could you show me around?" Artemis asked.

"Sure!" Harry grabbed his glasses threw on his robes and handed Artemis Ron's, "Don't worry, he won't mind!"

Artemis followed Harry, "Where am I anyway, why am I here, how did I get there, and who am I going to go to, to get back!?"

"Well, we're going to Dumbledore's office, the headmaster of the school," Harry answered thoughtfully, "You're here because I don't know why, I don't know how you got here, and Dumbledore's probably going to get you back to where you are, I read the last line of the fic!"

"Fascinating!" Artemis commented, "Wow, who's that hot chick?"

Artemis eyed Ginny's stereotypical figure and Harry held him back, 'Step off, in Harry Potter and he Half Blood Prince it'll be very likely that I'll be paired up with her!"

"Okay," Artemis held his hands up in the air and looked at Hermione's curvy body, "What about her?"

"She's Ron's, sorry, you can always take her," Harry pointed at Eloise Midgen.

"Damn," Artemis muttered under his breath, "all the sexy ones are taken, I gotta more faster next time!"

"Come on, let's go," Harry led Artemis to Dumbledore's office, then he said the new and unique password, "Getthehelloutofmywayyoustupidbird (A/N: separate the words ;))!"

"Cool password," Artemis said as they entered somehow, "So where is that old man?"

"Artemis!" Harry exclaimed angrily, "You weren't supposed to know YET!"

Artemis hid the script behind his back, "Sorry, read the far ahead!"

"It's okay, now, where IS that old man?" Harry started yodeling, in a matter of seconds Dumbledore stomped in, a bag pipe in his hands, clad in a Scottish skirt, "Yodely-yodely-yodelihoo!"

"Woo! Work your little a—" Artemis started break dancing, pretending to be ghetto, and then stopped, "S-sorry, had to do that!"

"It's okay, everyone has their mistakes!" Harry said sweetly.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore yelled causing everyone to stay silent, "Artemis, Harry—"

"You know my name?" Artemis asked astounded, "That is, like, so cool, Mr.!"

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to say hard words and be the 14-years-old genius!"

"Oh, yes, sorry," Artemis cleared his throat, "that is a scientifically amazing discovery, Sir!"

"That's the Arty I know!" Harry exclaimed with tears in his eyes even though he didn't know what he had just said (A/N: heck, I don't know either!).

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore yelled again, "We have terrible news!"

"WHAT!?" Harry and Artemis exclaimed.

"Someone has made an Evilmixofstories device that makes all story characters switch stories, if this continues, then every story will be at the device holder's mercy, and that means… the end of fanfiction…"

"NO!" Harry exclaimed as Artemis sobbed into his arms.

"Yes," Dumbledore aid gravely, "You're job is to get that device and destroy it before it switches too many stories and Artemis will be back in Artemis Fowl and Ron will be back in Harry Potter!"

"But who could have done this?" Artemis yelled unhappily.

Dumbledore looked at him through darkened eyes, "Dora the Explorer…"

"I knew that Spanish cheating whore did it, ever since she started working with that monkey it all went wrong!" Harry answered proudly, "I knew it!"

"So what will we do?" Artemis asked.

**Well, that's all for chapter one, keep a heads up for chapter 2 on the way tomorrow! If anyone wants to be in this fic, let me know in your review!**

**Ella**


	3. The Colorful Ink Assossiation

**Yey, chapter 3! Who would have thought? Dora the Explorer, well get ready for another incredible discovery! Please read and review, if you want to be in the fic, let me know, okay?**

**Ella**

Where we left off:

"So what will we do?" Artemis asked.

"Wait!" Dumbledore stopped him, "There's more!"

"How much more?" Harry pleaded in agony.

"Dora is working with someone else, someone more cunning and more evil…" Dumbledore whispered.

"TELETUBIES?!" Harry and Artemis exclaimed in question.

"NO! We don't know yet, okay, add that to your mission," Dumbledore replied thoughtfully.

"Anyway, with the help of these two brilliant authors and their sidekick, you will go save the fanfiction world! I'm counting on you!" Dumbledore disappears in a flash of smoke.

"Umm, Mr. Headmaster," Artemis said, "This is your office, so aren't we supposed to disappear in a flash of smoke?"

"Okay, yeah," Dumbledore appears again, snaps his fingers, and Harry and Artemis disappear in a flash of smoke.

Harry and Artemis appeared in front of a big black door, a sign that read 'CIA'.

"Oh, so we're in America now?" Harry and Artemis chimed.

"Yes," said a female voice, "Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to be exact, now, presenting…"

The black door opened and two girls appeared. They looked at Harry and Artemis and screamed.

"You perverts!" the brunette yelled, slapping them both.

Harry and Artemis looked them up and down, coloring completely. The brunette was wearing a periwinkle towel and rollers were covering her disheveled hair. The blonde wore lilac pajamas, a tooth brush in her mouth, and toothpaste running down her chin.

"Oops…" the voice in the speaker muttered, "Sorry guys, I thought you were changed…"

"GRR," the blond and brunette exchanged angry looks as the door closed again.

Harry and Artemis waited a few more minutes till the speaker came on again.

"Now," she cleared her throat, "Presenting…"

The door opened again and the two girls jumped forward, "TADA!"

"Uhh, guys…" the speaker muttered.

The blond and the brunette looked down again, now they were wearing little bo peep and Cinderella clothes.

"Oops, wrong wardrobe," the brunette sighed and grabbed her blue robe, "We might as well introduce ourselves…"

"Yeah, we'll deal with this later…" the blond put on hers and they both grinned, "Hi, I'm Peanut Butter the Second…"

"I'm Ella Potter," Ella bowed.

"Ooo," Harry said, "Am I your long lost brother now?"

"No," Ella sighed, "Harry, I don't wanna be Mary-Sue… so… I'm not in any way related to you, it's just me penname, I'm not pretty as you can see; I have acne, I'm not exactly what you call skinny, and my hair and eyes do NOT glisten in the sun, got that?!"

"And neither do mine," Peanut Butter the Second added.

"Okay," Artemis and Harry nodded in agreement, "So we don't fall madly in love with you guys?"

"We have boyfriends," the two girls rolled there eyes, "yo, lion21princess, will you come out already?"

"And presenting…" the speaker shut off and a dark skinned, under-weight girl jumped out also, "lion21princess! YEY!"

"Yo L21P, how many pounds to you still have to weigh to be normal?" Ella asked, looking at her.

"About 5 more to go, I'm totally making process," then she turned to Artemis and Harry, "Oh and you don't fall in love with me either, I'm a math genius AND wear glass…"

Whew," Artemis muttered when Harry said, "Thank goodness!"

"I know right?" All three agreed.

"So, this is the CIA?" Harry asked looking around at all the boy band posters.

"Yeah, the Colorful, without the 'u' though," Lion21princess said.

"Ink," Peanut said.

"Association," Ella finished.

"Oh and if our names confuse you, then just call me, L21P," lion21princess said.

"Call me EP, Ella, or Idunna… don't ask," Ella Potter answered.

"And call me, Peanut or PB, you can always call me Bob though," Peanut Butter II (the Second) added, thinking of her alien.

"Colorful Ink Association?" Harry repeated, "How is that an agency?"

"Oh, it's an agency?" L21P looked around.

"I never knew!" EP gasped.

"Oops," Peanut quickly took off all the Boy Band posters.

"So… it's still called the Colorful Ink Association, then?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah," EP shrugged, "I guess!"

"Okay," Harry smiled.

"So, I guess we make a plan to get back at Dora right?" L21P interjected.

"Sure," they all agreed.

**That's all for chapter 2, come on, people, review and let me know if you want to be in the fic!**

**Ella**


	4. Dora's Hideout

**Yey! Chapter 3! People, START REVIEWING!**

Where we left off...

"Sure," they all agreed.

"So... what's the plan?" EP looked at the others after a few minutes.

Artemis shrugged, leaning against the wall, "I dunno..."

"Artemis!" PB exclaimed, "is that what I think it is?!"

"Yeah," Artemis held up some white powder, "it's the only way I can remember all those difficult words and look evil..."

"I think I got it!" Harry said, looking through the script, "we go to Dora's hideout and figure out everything!"

"Excellent!" L21P replied brightly, "But... where's Dora's hideout?"

"Hi!" Suddenly Scipio, from the_ Thief Lord_, appeared, "what am I doing here?"

"The Evilmixofstories Device brought you here," EP said.

"Well... can I help find it?" Scipio asked.

"Sure," Harry shrugged, "Do you know where Dora's hideout is?"

"Yes," Scipio said in a dark whisper.

Lightning struck on a hill, where _abuelita's_ house lay.

"_Nunca van a saber que mi escondite es aqui!_" Dora laughed evilly in Spanish.

(Translation: No one will ever know that this is my hideout!)

"Dora, you can stop now," Opal Koboi sighed, sitting down on the sofa.

"DORA! _Hice galletas!_" Dora's _abuelita_ came in with chocolate cookies.

(Translation: I made cookies!)

"_Gracias!_" Dora took one and ate it happily, grabbing the Evilmixofstories Device greedily, "it's all mine!"

(Translation: Thank you!)

"And mine," Opal added hopefully.

"No, it's mine!" Boots, the monkey, came in.

"It's all ours!" The backpack replied.

"With the help of the map, I shall—" Dora started.

"I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the MAP! Let's help Dora—" the map popped out.

"Let me finish!" Dora exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, gosh, you're too moody," the map muttered, disappearing.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Dora continued, "with the help of the map, I shall plot all my evil attacks and maybe even switch around celebrities!"

"Look!" Scipio exclaimed, "There it is!"

They all looked up hopefully.

"It looks scary!" L21P cowered behind PB.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, as long as I have... BOB!" PB held up her hand and on it laid a Daniel Radcliffe-looking alien.

"WAA!" Artemis did a double take, "what the hell is that?"

"It's her alien," EP answered proudly, "I have one too!"

"And what's he gonna do to help us?" Harry looked at it.

"I'll transport us straight to the top of the hill," Bob said with a snap of his fingers and they were right next to _abuelita's_ house—everyone, except Artemis.

"Hey!" he called, "why am I still down here?"

"Bob says that you cursed at him, so you deserve to come up yourself!" PB called back.

Artemis sighed and started climbing.

"Anyway... what now?" EP asked.

"Let's peak through the window," Scipio said.

"Okay," everyone agreed.

**Okay, that's chapter 3, YEY! Will they find out that Koboi is behind all this too, will abuelita make more cookies, and will Artemis make it to the top? Find out in chapter 4!**

**Ella**

**PS: Don't forget, you HAVE to let me know if you want to be a character in the fic, hurry!**


	5. Pieces of Me

**Yey! Finally, chapter 4 is up! ****J**** We're all SPEWING (I luv that word!) with joy! I just can't stop smiling today, oh gosh, must stop this cheery manner! ::Changes face expression to serious:: alright you scoundrels! Listen and listen good, I want you low lives to read my fic and give me some good feedback, alright? Off you go then!**

**Ella**

"PST!" PB whispered to EP, "PPPPSSSSSTTTT!!!"

"What?" EP whispered back.

"Chickenbutt!" PB snickered to herself.

"Ugh," EP rolled her eyes, "Peanut that was soooo 7th grade!"

"Hey!" Harry turned to them, "We're supposed to be spying, not whispering to each other, I thought you guys were the CIA!"

"We are," EP and PB said in unison, "We just didn't know it was an agency!"

"Okay, we'll pay attention!" EP agreed.

"Party pooper," PB muttered.

"Party!? Where?!" Scipio looked around anxiously.

"SSSHHH!" Everyone whispered to him.

"I wonder where Artemis is…" L21P said thoughtfully.

**Halfway up the hill…**

"When ::pant:: am I ::pant:: going to ::pant:: finish climbing this freaking HILL?!" Artemis yelled.

Suddenly, the rocks started to shake, and Artemis lost his balance, "Oops…"

Rock slide.

**In _abuelita's_ house…******

"Monday, I am waiting, Tuesday I am fading, and by Wednesday, I can't sleep!" Dora sang into her fake microphone.

"Fall, with you, I fall so fast," Opal sang into hers with a screechy voice.

"OOOOHHHH!" They both screamed in unison, "it feels like I can finally rest my head on something real, I like the way that feels, OH—"

"You _estan_ singing _eso_ wrong!" _Abuelita_ said, practicing her English/Spanish mix of accents, grabbing the microphone fromDora, "it goes," she started a song fic:

_On a Monday, I am waiting  
Tuesday, I am fading_

"Hey Opal," Dora said, sitting down on the couch, "When do you think this'll be over?"_  
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep  
Then the phone rings, I hear you_

"I dunno; you wanna play patty cake?" Opal suggested._  
And the darkness is a clear view  
Cuz you've come to rescue me_

"I don't want to play patty cake!" Dora answered stubbornly, "Let's play 'find Boots'!"

_Fall... With you, I fall so fast  
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts_

"But we always play 'find Boots'!" Opal said exasperatedly.

_Ohhh  
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real_

"So? Do you have something against Boots?" Dora grabbed the weird monkey and hugged him close to her, "What's wrong with him?"

_I like the way that feels  
Ohhh_

"Nothing, just the fact that you treat a poor animal like filth!" Opal said.

_It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself  
I love how you can tell_

"But YOU cheated on that commander dude you were working with in _Artemis Fowl: the Arctic Incident_!" Dora shot back._  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me_

"So? He wasn't a cute fluffy monkey! Let's play patty cake!" Opal grabbed Boots away from Dora.

_I am moody, messy  
I get restless, and it's senseless_

"No, let's play Find Boots!" Dora yelled and took back Boots._  
How you never seem to care  
When I'm angry, you listen_

"Patty Cake!"

_Make me happy it's a mission  
And you won't stop till I'm there_

"Find Boots!"_  
Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast  
Well, I hit that bottom_

"Patty Cake!"_  
Crash, you're all I have_

_It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real  
I like the way that feels_

"Damn you!" Opal yelled back._  
Ohhh  
It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself_

"Up yours!" Dora screamed._  
I love how you can tell  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me_

"You don't even know me!" Opal stood up at her full height._  
How do you know everything I'm about to say?  
Am I that obvious?_

"I know that you're plotting the Evilmixofstories Device Operation with me!" Dora stood up too, but she was too small, so she stood on her tiptoes._  
And if it's written on my face...  
I hope it never goes away... yeah  
On a Monday, I am waiting_

"But its gonna happen next Monday!" Opal shot back, "We have a long time, so it doesn't count!"_  
and by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...  
So I can breathe_

"That doesn't even make sense, let's do something else!" Dora suggested.

_Ohhh  
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real_

"Let's play 'Find Boots'!" Dora exclaimed._  
I like the way that feels  
Ohhh_

"Or we could play Patty cake!" Opal muttered._  
It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself  
I love how you can tell_

"Find Boots!"_  
Ohhh  
I love how you can tell_

"Patty cake!"_  
Ohhh  
I love how you can tell_

"Barbies!" Boots shot back._  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me..._

"The songs over!" Opal and Dora yelled at him.

"Oh okay," he shrugged and jumped off into the kitchen.

"So," _Abuelita _cleared her throat and gave back the microphone, "You now know how to sing 'Pieces of Me' by Ashlee Simpson?"

Dora and Opal nodded, as Ashlee popped in and out saying, "Oh yeah!"

**You guys enjoyed chapter 4? Give me some reviews!**

**Ella__**


	6. Meeting a New Alliance

**YEY! Chapter 5, finally up! Okay, in this chapter a new character will appear, so be READY!**

**Ella**

EP, Scipio, PB, Harry, and L21P sat there—dumbfound.

"Wow, she has some damn straight GOOD reinforcements… I mean, her _ABUELITA_ can sing better than Ashlee Simpson, while singing Ashlee Simpson's OWN song, how incredible is that?" EP fell back in astonishment.

"Not very," L21P concluded.

"Oh," EP sat up quickly.

"I agree," agreed Artemis…

"…"

ARTEMIS!?

"Hey, Arty, how'd you get here… and so quickly?" PB looked down at the rockslide nervously, "I thought you were dead already—I mean, I thought you were _hurt badly_…"

"Oh, well, this girl with a camera saved me!" Artemis pointed behind him, as a girl with a camera came up from the rockslide.

She had blue eyes and mousey blond hair; it was a little shorter then her shoulder, like a retro cut and it was kinda wavy/curly… She was not the skinniest person on earth, she was very loud and funny when she was with her friends and—

"Oops, read too far into the script, hehe…" EP blushed, "Okay, let's start this over…"

She had blue eyes and mousey blond hair; it was a little shorter then her shoulder, like a retro cut and it was kinda wavy/curly, she wasn't the skinniest person on earth, but she was just right…

"You sound like you're comparing her to porridge soup," Harry folded his arms, "she looks 16, you know, bet you didn't notice that either!"

"Okay, okay," EP took a deep breath, ready to start again…

"AND, she looks about 5'6", so she's not the tallest person in the world either…" PB looked at the blond girl closely.

"OKAY!" EP got ready to start AGAIN, when…

"AND you can see that her style is unique," Artemis added.

"Don't forget; she probably LOVES to wear bright colors and funky earrings…" L21P continued.

"And she…"

"Plus she…"

"Oh yeah, she…"

"SHUT UP!" the blond and EP yelled, "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!"

"Alright!" The rest called back.

"Okay," the blond took a deep breath, "let me introduce myself, alright?"

"Fine," they agreed.

"My name is Tricia, I'm a secret agent from the CIA, like EP, PB, and L21P; you can call me TK, if you wish… I have blue eyes and mousey blond hair, and I'm 5'6" and—" Tricia started.

"Cool," L21P ended the conversation quickly, "Anyway, where are your headquarters? So we can find out a way to stop Dora, Opal, and Abuelita from using the Mixofstories and Mixofaccents device!"

"In Virginia, of course, it's BEAUTIFUL there!" TK said, "I use my camera to take pictures of it ALL the time!"

"Interesting," EP commented.

"Ooooo! LOOK! Bubbles!" TK exclaimed, flashing pictures of the bubbles Harry had just conjured.

"I knew you'd like it!" Harry blushed shyly, fantasizing of a Tricia/Harry ship.

TK wasn't paying attention; she was just snapping away pictures of the bubbles.

"Awww…" PB elbowed Harry playfully, "Does Harry have a crush on the CIA agent?"

"Who, me?" EP looked up in amazement.

"No, TK," PB whispered.

"AWWWW!" EP gave a Harry a thumb up, "Very cute…"

"How about the HMS Magical Agent?" Artemis suggested.

"No, cause she's not British," EP said.

"Okay, how about the S.S. Green Bubbles?" Harry sighed dreamily.

"Perfect!" EP exclaimed, quickly drawing a childish sketch of it, "Ooo, sooo PRETTY! Why don't you take a look?"

"Uhh, EP? I thought you were supposed to be an unknown artist?" PB scowled at her.

EP rolled her eyes, "I think it's pretty, don't you?"

"I think it's pretty," Harry added, happily.

"Hey guys! What are you doing?" TK had finished taking pictures and was looking over Harry's shoulder, trying to figure out the drawing, "Nice. Who drew it?"

"I did," EP said proudly.

"Way cool," TK commented, "Who are those people anyway?"

"Not you and I," Harry replied hopefully.

"Oh," TK paused, "So, who's going to Virginia with me?"

"We are," Everyone exclaimed…

**And so are we, in the next chapter, remember, if you would like to be in the fic, please, let me know in your review (signed or anonymous) or by **

**Ciao,**

**Ella**

**PS: Oh yeah, and the picture that EP drew of the SS Green Bubbles? I actually drew it! (Email me and I'll give you the link!!) **


End file.
